I Can’t Write Tonight…

The scheduled post was to be “What I Did on My Staycation… Part 3″… and I really do have some great photos of Alcatraz Island that I want to share.

But we lost a friend on Sunday. A close family friend. Unexpectedly.

So I can’t bring myself to write about a past joyful occasion while I am grieving.

I am grieving for Mom (my MIL), who has lost her best friend, Dianne. This is Mom’s third major loss: her husband, then her sister, and now her best friend, each about two years apart. I am worried sick about her, and how she will handle this one. She apparently has been super-accepting this last day or so; we expect it will hit her shortly, and hit pretty hard. Much of Mom’s social life centered around Dianne and her daughter Mary. They both attended the crab feed I talked about last week. That was the last time I saw Dianne, in fact. Mom and Dianne talked every morning, at least.

I am grieving for Mary, who has lost her mom, her rock. While I have only gotten to know Mary sporadically at various extended family functions, if we lived closer together I’m sure we’d be best buds. I truly adore her. She was already having a rough year, breaking up with a long-time live-in boyfriend. I can’t wait to see her again and give her an extra special long hug.

I am grieving for the rest of Dianne’s family, her daughters, her sisters, her only recently discovered brother.

I am grieving for my daughters, who are grieving for their grandmother as I am, and for Mary as I am.

I am grieving for the loss of Dianne, even though I know that Dianne still exists… just not on this earthly plane with us. The transition is difficult for those left behind. I find myself constantly reminding myself that we have lost Dianne, because I just assume that she is where she always is: at home or at Mom’s.

Now she is simply in our hearts and our memories.

My niece Sara posted a lovely quote, “The graveyards are full of people the world could not do without. (Elbert Hubbard)”

Dianne at "her" rock in Morrow Bay.

Dianne at “her” rock in Morrow Bay.